Spending Your First Holiday After Marriage with Your In-Laws.

**It must be hard on the in-laws knowing they are automatically disliked for reasons they don't understand. My mother was the kindest, sweetest person who would make everyone welcome in her house, but my sister in law didn't like her, didn't want to visit nor did she ever invite mom to her house. When my nephews were young they used to say horrible things to my mom like "We don't like you, we only like our other grandma" We all knew the nastiness was coming from my sister-inlaw. Mom never could understand what she did wrong to be so disliked.

**I was always amazed (disgusted) with the unfeeling, brain dead, lack of tact people who would ask me or my wife. "Why don't you have any kids yet?" I quickly replied "After seeing your screeching brats, I realized what a bad idea it is"...Surprised the hell out of them...As if anyone has the right to ask...

**just have fun at Christmas, they are also family that we have to share beautiful moment wit. once in a year is not a big deal......

**Just marry a Jew like I did. No Thanksgiving or Christmas to worry about. Now we only have to put up with my family and I don't do thanksgiving anyhow

**My advice to visiting in-laws is "only their jokes are funny", even if you tell the same joke, it will go over like a lead balloon. Expect a "Bambi in the headlights look" from you husband when you tell him his mother said something mean to you. Just smile, and let it go! Not worth fighting over. (drink a lot......!)

**Wow!! Some of these comments make you wonder if you are welcome at anyone's house anymore. And as for the authors mother..she was trying to let his girlfriend know how much she liked her. Now, if she had said "I hope the hell he isn't going to choose you to be my daughter in law" I would have been shocked.

**I loved my in laws and wish they were still here to celebrate the holidays. They were kind, funny, complimented my cooking, and always offered to help out. I just hate these articles that make in-laws automatically horrible and painful to be around.

**Smile and keep calm...yes! My aunt/uncle would say things to all of us (family and other relatives) and we'd just keep our cool (although we wanted to do something else) and respond kindly. Thankfully we don't see them as much but they still want us to come up. Yes forgiving what they said is good. Also seeing less of them is good too. To me.

**We moved 700 miles away. We survive every holiday just fine.

**She was pregnant with your first child and you waited another fourteen months to propose to her? So, I bet mom was thrilled to have your child toddle behind her as she walked down the aisle, right?

**In-laws can't do anything right! It has been going on for years!!!!!!!!!! Grow up and realize, ONE day, you will walk in their shoes!!!!!!! The d.i.law and s.i.law liked the Parents before marriage and wanted to make an impression. So the Parents love them and YOU end up leaving the Parents and Grandparents in the dust!!! I sure don't get it!!! One day the Parents will be gone. Live on the memories, instead of y'all enjoying one another NOW. Take the time to go see them, they are the people who made you WHAT you're today. Parents never mean harm to their children, they love them. They may say things that you don't like, but don't we all??? So, ya don't hold a grudge and ignore them. The girl or son loved their spouses when they married them.....GUESS who raised them????? The IN-Laws!!!!! I hope this hits a nerve with all of you spoiled brats, that haven't lived long enough to understand, ONE day, they will be gone!!! BTW, I'm very fortunate enough to say, My D.I.Laws tell me ALLLLL the time how much they love me. One lives away and one lives near. Of course we don't agree on everything, but don't take it to heart and dislike someone for voicing their opinions or thoughts. Laughter with your in-laws is wonderful, they are still young at heart, meaning, stop being so freakin' serious about every little thing. Stop LISTENING for problems!!

**Decent people don't just invite themselves to your home. Have them call before they show up and tell them you have other plans. If they invite you to their house tell them you have other plans.

**Don't answer the door, leave before they get there, if your going to there house, just fake an ailment, Easy greasy.

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Floyd and Margaret Nordhagen were married 68 years, and they died Sunday holding hands.

**"...another says that when Floyd began to struggle with mowing the lawn, the couple started pushing the mower together." It sounds like they had a wonderful and loving life...always taking care of each other. Condolences to their family and friends.

** Heartbreaking yet amazing. They are now forever holding hands in heaven, Bless you, dear Floyd and Margaret. And Blessings to the the family...

** At least they didn't die alone. They don't have to mourn each other at one of their funerals or cry. They will be buried together and leave this earth together.

** really sad and tragic that happened. but its evident that they really loved each other to the end.

** They were married since they were 24 and 20, must have dated even younger. Sad but after a life time together maybe its the right way to go.

** wow! This is bittersweet. They died at peace together. Congrats to your 68 years of marriage, it is sad to see you go. Rest in peace loved ones.
 This is a beautiful story and it's not about whether they should have been driving. Save that for another article about "what age should you stop driving". I'm sure you people text while driving or eat, put on make-up, shave and read going 80 miles an hour. I see it every day. Geez!

** I am an older codger, but this made me cry. I could only have hoped for such because I haven't lived since. There are things much worse than death.
 A true love story ending. However, I think there may come a time in a person's life when perhaps it would be better off no longer driving. This accident could have caused much greater heartache if the family in the truck had been killed.


** I hope and pray I go first if I can't go at the same time. My world would be a very dark and lonely place without my guy.
 Marriages just are not made like this anymore, especially in this day and age. Bless their little old hearts.

 **obody is saying nothing about a 92 years old man driving a car that could have killed a entire family. Sad they died, but nobody can see the problem of it??? is everybody blind???

** Should any 90 plus year olds be driving? I don't want to be mean, I just would like to know. I would think physically your adeptness would be much much slower. That being asked, I do give my condolence to the family and my admiration to the couple.

** Very sad. I know they both had a good, long life together, but no one wants to see anyone die like this. May they both rest in peace.

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We got married one October afternoon after we went up and paid about $50 for a marriage license and maybe a $100 for a judge to officiate.

**So you took the photos yourself with a $100 point and shoot and it really shows. If a 3K photographer is not worth it to you, then that's completely understandable. Many want to be photographed by top professionals for their once in a lifetime event. It's worth it to them. But not spending is not quite "saving 25k". I didn't buy a Ferrari today but it doesn't mean I "saved 150k" Right?

**Small correction: You got married for pennies, and that's beautiful and effective, but that's not the same as "Saving $25k on Your Wedding". As a Bridal Consultant, I know it's perfectly possible to spend less than 25K on a wedding; this just wasn't a wedding...

**I had my wedding in my parents back yard on the patio. I got my wedding dress for $35 out of the JCPenney clearance catalog. I did have to pay $60 bucks to get it taken it...I needed a size 5, but all they had was a size 7...it was long and had a train...gorgeous dress. I made the invitations by hand on parchment paper for $20...drew wedding bells and everything on each invitation. I spent $500 on food and prepared most dishes myself, with the help of my bridesmaids...awesome Louisiana cuisine. (My parents did contribute $300 for a few catered dishes) We spent around $100 to rent extra chairs/tables and got a wedding arch thrown in for free. I spent $40 on flowers (and assembled the bouquets myself the morning of the wedding). I spent another $75 on a few simple decorations. My husband-to-be made the roses for our wedding cake, and his sister baked a 3 tier cake with the little columns and put the roses and a plastic bride/groom on the cake. Luckily, his mom had been into cake decorating for years as a hobby...and she had taught her kids how to make exquisite cakes. The local grocery store made the groom's cake. I spent another $100 on champagne for the wedding toast only...and a few bottles to bring back to the hotel. Not including the wedding rings, it was roughly $1100-$1400 for 60-75 guests. We invited 100, but some couldn't make it. We had plenty of food for everyone. The biggest savings was in not serving alcohol...other than a spiked punch. I had the time of my life. All the bridesmaids/groomsmen wound up at the after-party at the hotel...glad we saved some champagne and my mom made us a to-go platter of food!! Been married 23 wonderful years...better triple these prices for todays weddings, to allow for inflation !!!

**Getting married is no longer a "once-in-a-lifetime" event. When people tell me they are getting married, I say, "ok", let me know when you have been married for 25-40 years. THEN, I will say congratulations.

**Forget that "it's my perfect day entitlement #$%$" Half end in divorce. Have the big expensive party after you've been married for 25 years.

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They don't apply to the growing number of couples who say they're opting to split the cost of the engagement ring.

**I believe in very open communication regarding finances when married, with that said I agree with one of the comments above it is nice for the engagement to be a surprise but to each their own at the end of the day it is what the couple agrees on mutually.

**How does being a total duoche bag all week long, as long as you go to church on Sunday have to do with buying and engage........., oh I'm sorry, I was thinking about going Dutch reform, yeah, just Dutch, guess that's a little different.

**If you are getting married.. prepared to go dutch with everything! you are half of a couple.. and you are responsible for your own finances.. seperately and combined.. If you want something more extravagant and he cant afford it. .He may feel slighted you are a High maintence woman.. If you cant accept him as he comes to you in marriage.. what are you going to DO LATER? If he is asking and buying accept it as his budget.. and in the future be surprised with anniversary rings or something.. Lots of women earn more.. ARe you going to pay way more for his ring.. ? Like platium or something?

**What happened to romance? People are putting way too much emphasis on the ring. When my husband and I got engaged, he was a private in the Army and we couldn't afford a diamond at all...we both just bought silver bands for the wedding ceremony. On our tenth anniversary he bought me a ring, but I was fine without one. My friend's daughter just got engaged and she told her fiance that she wouldn't "accept anything less than 1 carat!" Can you believe?! He's now taken a five-year loan to pay for her ring by the month. To me, that's not love...that's selfishness and vanity...

**We couldn't afford an engagement ring, and frankly I didn't want one. I just didn't see the point in blowing a bunch of money that could be better spent elsewhere. The actual marriage is what is most important to me. We both got nice simple wedding bands for a lovely small simple wedding.

**When we got engaged, my late mother gave my husband an heirloom diamond belonging to my grandmother, which he had set in a tiffany platinum setting....It is a small diamond, but flawless and has history...He was a student at the time and to this day I wouldn't trade my ring for one three times the size...it's the thought and the commitment, not who pays for it, or supplies it..

**If its really is love, buy a cheap 500 dollar ring, and see what she says. I have had a few friends that stated their ex-wife demanded a certain size ring or such. Told them they need to rethink. Now there spent more on a divorce lawyer then the ring. And the 1st thing the ex did was sell the ring to help pay for hers.

**Funny how many women want equality yet they stubbornly hold onto these stupid traditions that benefit them. You have a great job and making really good money, hell you might even make more than your fiance, yet you still expect him to buy you this fancy ring to show off to all your girlfriends. And let's not forget that it's probably the guy that paid most of the expenses when dating. You wanted equality ladies, it's high time you got it in EVERY aspect. You want a fancy ring, you pay half. End of discussion.

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There are at least 12 types of guys that every girl will probably get butterflies in her stomach for at least once in her life.

**I'm pretty damn sure I have gone through each and every one of these crushes. The religious crush would probably go under the inappropriate crush I would think. (just my opinion don't get huffy)LOL Every woman or girl has gone through the same sex crush: where you stare or wish you were the awesome girl that is perfect in each and every way that you aren't. These are the worst crushes ever.

**Back in the early 90's I had a life-size poster of Eric Clapton on the ceiling over my bed. It wasn't a crush - just masturbation fodder.

**I really enjoy an orange crush on hot summer days. For a really delicious treat, mix orange crush with some vodka, triple sec and orange juice.

**Ok,so trying to think like a female here...Is the "crush" the reason a woman is all lovey and happy,won't leave a guy alone for three weeks and then all of a sudden, she is always busy,always tired,has to much going on... Maybe she is in to another... "crush"? Just wondering.

**Weird. I haven't had this experience and I'm over 40. Is this written by a 12 year old or something? Seems a bit like a love addict. Hate crush? I can't even grasp what that means.

**I'm 16 and have never had a crush. I've never been aesthetically attracted, romantically attracted, or sexually attracted to anyone. I only get squishes, which is feelings of friendship, but much more intense than a normal friendship, while still managing to not be romantic. (Oh, and they are ALWAYS on fictional characters.) It also angers me when my classmates complain and gossip about their and others' girlfriends and boyfriends because they really shouldn't be dating at this age. I've always thought that dating in school is stupid. And, I also think that this is because I might be an aromantic asexual. The image of me being in a romantic relationship disgusts me, especially if I try to imagine how it would be like to be married, and what I would have to tell my spouse: I HATE sleeping in the same bed with another person, I HATE hugging, I think the idea of me kissing is gross, I HATE taking care of children, so yeah, I DON'T want to have children, it doesn't matter if they are mine or if they are adopted, and most of all, the thought of me having sex disgusts me.

**The twitter crush is recent, it wouldn't have been around some years ago... And some of these feel as though they could be rolled up into a category called "The Proximity Crush" - The crush you have because he's/she's just around.

**omg just the other day I was on the internet looking up images of Kirk Cameron's family cuz I had such an enormous crush on him in 3rd grade and wanted to see what his kids looked like my bf walked in I quickly exited and he was like what were you looking at so he goes back and finds the images I just cldn't stop laughing I was soo embarrassed to be caught looking at images of Kirk Cameron he teased me for a few days

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We believe that the number 13 in 2013 is causing a small but meaningful number of brides to avoid getting married this year.

**That is a dumb reason not to get married. Friends of mine were married on September 13th sixteen years ago - their anniversary was on Friday the 13th this year and it never bothered them.

**Don't like the number 13? I thought this stupid, superstitious #$%$ was long gone. How can intelligent people even care?

**In other news, Chinese brides-to-be are reporting that they had a strangely easy time this year booking banquet halls..

**I'm getting married this year in December. Better for me - lower prices, easier to book venues, etc. Business are hungry for the business (4th quarter and all). 2013 unlucky - no way... I look at it as an opportunity!

**We got married on a Friday the 13th as did many other couples at the same chapel...

**So what do they plan on doing should their marriages last 13 years? Ignore the anniversary? Do they not celebrate their birthdays should they have been born on the 13th of the month? Did they get engaged to people also not born on the 13th? Stupid people.

**Or, maybe it is just because the women/girls of today are waking up to the fact that spending all that money to do the "wedding" is just not worth it.

**Being single for most of my adult life, I tend to see relationships as hassles and roller coaster rides. I really don't get it. Maybe I'll meet someone someday that will change my mind.

**If you are marry middle aged people they come with baggage.. find out what it is. .before you marry. and comb thru how you will handle all the residual.. Young love is different, irresponsible immature and bad financial decisions plague you. You have to find out how to manage money stress and plan for your future together.. Aint love grand and OR CONVENIENT??

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Seek out the happy couples and know that "til death do you part" still exists.

**The best advice I have for newlyweds was given to us by the cantor who married us, thirty years ago, when we met with him before the wedding. He told us: "You think you're in love. You're not. You satisfy certain of each other's needs. That's fine."You won't know you're in love until ten, fifteen, twenty years down the road, when you've been through some births, deaths, hospital visits, financial crises and other bumps on the road."During that thirty years, we have learned that life, like sailing, is a journey not a destination.

**I don't know about that Doug. I know I am in love with my husband and he with me. We have been married 1 1/2 years and I know what love is and experience it everyday.

**This is actually pretty good advice. I would also add that it doesn't matter how either of you fold the towels (or that you do it differently)--some people never fold towels at all. So don't fight about stupid stuff (this means arguing about how to fold towels, how to load the dishwasher, which order to do the chores in, etc). Life is too short to be so petty.---Signed, Experienced

**If you didn't know this advice before you got married, your mind was in a fairy tale state. I knew this before I got married and my marriage is awesome because I know it takes work but till death due us part does exist and will happen in our marriage.

**I've been married for about 6 months, however we bought a house and got engaged within about a 1 week window. We were engaged for about 1 year and 3 months, and I experienced so many things in your letter. He makes me happy and fulfills me, but I can not depend on him for 100% of my needs. Even though I told him to take out the trash last night, and he took it out this morning and the kitchen smells, I won't hold it aganist him. I could go on, but I have a great husband who loves me dearly, cherishes me, and would die for me. And I'm blessed to have him, and look forward to our life together.

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